AN ONGOING SAGA II

Tuesday, December 10, 2002

COMING SOON!

PART NINE... MAMA'S LITTLE CORNER OF THE WORLD...

Wednesday, October 30, 2002

AN ONGOING SAGA - SERIES 2 - STORY 1...

PART EIGHT : HEY, MICKEY... Prologue and additional inspiration by Nick Goodman. Other plots written by Paul Chandler.

Last Episode : In which Trent makes communication - Mavis and Rwanda are lost - Hazel takes Lavinia away from it all and Samantha meets Yen's cousin...

This Episode : In which Mickey rides into town - Edie has a flashback - Bowen tells Samantha the truth and Yen remains critical...

Prologue :

Mickey looked out onto the desert of the Nevada...

The city of Las Vegas, so bright and proud, looked like a kiddies play area in the distance. As Mickey moved one colossal foot further and further into the sands, he remembered the odour of chloride from the fountains of Vegas. Chloride or not he could have jumped straight into it at this moment. Suddenly he was gripped by panic. Who exactly was he? He seemed to have too large a body to be natural. He could remember laughing and talking like Michael Jackson and talking to - someone in a dress - something in a dress!?!

A mouse!

What seemed like an age later, Mickey's huge foot hit something half in the sand and he fell heavily down onto the ground. The huffing and anxiety inside his "body". Mickey was so hot he was nearly sick. He looked at what he had come across. A buggy with wheels and a mirror. Looking into the mirror, a dark, inanely grinning cartoon mouse stared back and him. As did the words of his

boss, "If you don't do something pretty darn incredible, your ass can consider itself fired!" So this was something incredible. But what had brought him out here - in costume for heavens sake. And if this was a novelty costume, why did he apparently have Mickey's memory too! Magic of Hollywood? With all his might, Mickey hauled the buggy out of the sand. He knew what that was too. Being a Bond fan he had always admired Sean Connery's chase across the Nevada in Diamonds are Forever. Could this be a real prop? After all this time. Mickey hauled himself on and turned the ignition. It worked! After 30 years it still worked. As it growled into life, reality was kind enough not to contradict the moment. With a high pitched Mickey laugh Mickey revved to maximum and went shooting off across the dunes.

Incredible wasn't in it!

Recap : Mr Bowen smiled, waving away Samantha's sympathy, "Not your fault..." he chuckled, "This was the first thing I could find... But you have to be careful with these sorts of things - they have a way of taking you over..."

"They do?"

"Oh yes, Miss Ruth... Why I used to have a friend who used to dress as Wily Coyote... Well - you can imagine..."

"What happened..."

"I'm afraid he's no longer with us... Those ACME bombs have quite a punch..."

"Right..."

"ANYWAY!! You'll be wanting to hear how Yen is... Come this way..."

Gingerly, Samantha nodded and began to follow the man - leaving the Reception behind them as they hurried away into the depths of the hospital...

-----

Edie sat alone in the Circus tea room - she felt slightly light headed and excited... She had done something really daring - without telling Mavis or anything!!! She had just signed a 6 month contract with Siggtrigger to do a Speed Knitting act as part of the new regime on acts there in Vegas. She hadn't taken leave in years - she must be owed 6 months leave if nothing else!

Dear Mavis, (she wrote on her postcard, not having the guts to ring Mavis and discuss the matter with her.)

I may be some time out here. I have been offered a job. Weather is warm here. Have made lots of new friends. See you soon.

Edie xx

She daren't say anything more just at the moment...

Edie also had another sneaking suspicion - another thing that was keeping her...

On seeing Samantha for the first time at the airport she had been overcome by a strange feeling that she had seen Samantha before... At first she had wondered if maybe she had seen her face in one of P.I.Ps files. But now she knew that wasn't the case at all... Edie opened her hand bag and took out a small photograph - a photograph she had been sent some ten or fifteen years before. The girl in the photo was about fourteen or fifteen and yet the resemblance was obvious - the photo was Samantha...

"Alright in there, Edie?" Barry was sticking his head around the door.

"I'm fine Barry, dear..." replied Edie, "What about you? How are the alien animals doing?"

"Not bad - calmed down... Everything's on hiatus since Siggtrigger decided we might steer away from monsters... Have you seen him by the way? Not off chasing chicken again is he?"

"Chicken, dear!?"

"Never mind... But have you seen him?"

"He's gone out dear..."

"Anywhere good? Did he say?"

"He's auditioning a team of Swedish Mexican jugglers..."

"I'm sorry I asked - what exactly is that?"

"As it sounds dear - Swedish men and ladies juggling Mexicans..."

"Right... Ok..." Barry was just looking confused - he waved and then hurried off again.

Edie shrugged her shoulders - took another look at the photo in her handbag and then reached down for something else. It was a letter. A letter that she had carried with her for years. Written to her by a man whom she had once loved...

"My Immortal Beloved. I journey without joy, until I can feel the peace of being at home. My home is nowhere. It is not a place. It is with the heart that I love. I hug and kiss you 1,000,0013 times in my closed eyes. It is a pain that kills me 365 times a year. I may never know the sense of that closeness again. I travel, and I move. I never stay still. Be calm my love. Be still. For I can never be as long as we are far. Ever yours, ever mine, ever ours."

Edie folded the letter up once again and sighed... She must speak to Samantha... She must make her way to the hospital...

Now it was all coming back she must say to Samantha all she could remember!

Before she forgot it again...

-----

"I think it's best that you know something, Samantha..." sighed Bowen - looking very serious - despite what he was wearing. They had found a small waiting room at the end of a maze of corridors, "...And I think I should also make it clear that I am not his cousin either..."

"Then WHO are you? I recognise your name - I remember Yen mentioning you when we were travelling on the Sub - you didn't get on if I remember rightly... How DO you know him then?"

"You're right we never got on - not truly... But we were very close - infact you could say that - well - that I am an aspect of him..."

"How does that work exactly? Are you saying that you're twins?"

"Nothing quite so surburban..."

"Well what then - that you're SAME person?"

"Of sorts..."

"But not exactly..."

"No Samantha - not exactly..."

"Are you the good to his bad side?"

"Perhaps... We were - in hospital together - not this hospital... But - well - the whole business isn't worth confusing you any more with - our relationship is complex - although I certainly wouldn't say that we were friends..."

"Enemies then..."

"I never said that..."

"Well what DO you mean then?"

"This isn't what I wanted to bother you about Samantha... There are other matters..."

"You've gone all coy on my now Mr Bowen..." sighed Samantha, "Now I don't expect to understand half of what you're going to say to me but you have definitely gone coy... Why are you here?"

"I sensed Yen was here... That he was going to die..."

"And you came to help or hinder him?"

"Neither... Just to observe..."

"The pub... falling on him like that... It wasn't your doing was it?"

Mr Bowen looked shocked, "WHY NO, SAMANTHA DEAR - NO OF COURSE NOT..."

"I'm sorry... It's just - well - I don't know anything any more..."

Bowen nodded, "Yes - and I'm sorry about that... That's Yen's doing... At least you've become aware of what he's up to now... He's been acting the friend for far too long when infact his motives are not genuine..."

"I think I've gathered that now..."

"Good..."

"...And I'm not necessarily who he told me I am... I mean... He's confused me several times - when I arrived here I was Carol and for a long time before that he was calling me Samantha..."

"Best to focus on Samantha I'd say..." sighed Bowen. "There remains some doubt as to who you are - but only because Yen himself has caused that... I'm sorry Samantha - I'm sorry he caused that to happen... He's an obsessive..."

"Obsessive about me?"

"Just slightly..."

"You sound just like him..." Samantha thought to herself, "Almost exactly - so serious - so convincing..."

"I'm not sure whether that should be taken as an insult or a compliment..." Samantha jumped, "Apologies..." continued Bowen and laid a hand on her arm.

"You read my mind like he did..."

"Yes... Neat trick that... Didn't used to be able to - something that has come about over the months since I first met him..."

Samantha shivered - closing her mind - ceasingly all private thought for fear he detect it, "Well - it's been interesting talking to you Mr Bowen... I really don't intend to stay here much longer... I'm leaving Las Vegas - as soon as possible... I don't care if he tries to follow me once he recovers - I'll close my mind to him - he won't be able to find me..."

"He won't recover Miss Ruth - you can be sure of that..."

"Well whatever..." she didn't linger on his comment but continued, "I would like to see him just once before I leave..."

"That's up to you..."

Samantha was on her feet and making for the door, "Just as long as you don't try and stop me... I do so hate it when people try and interfere Mr Bowen..."

But there was no reply. Samantha turned at the door and looked back into the room. Mr Bowen was gone - leaving only a rather tatty looking Donald Duck costume in a pile on the floor.

-----

Mickey had seen the sign for the circus at quite a distance as he crossed the Vegas desert into the main part of town. He recalled, partly from his memory of movies, that there had once been a casino called Circus Circus in that particular spot - where as now there was - well - just a circus - a real big top... He felt drawn to it... Strangely drawn...

As he neared the entrance he noticed a large sign : UNDER DEVELOPMENT... REHEARSAL/PRESS NIGHT SHOW TONIGHT - ENTRANCE FREE... So the place wasn't even properly open yet...

It was then he noticed the Vikings...

They appeared to have already noticed him...

They were staring... It must be the Mickey Mouse suit, Mickey reasoned - he'd still not been able to take it off - it seemed fuzed to his body - part of him now... It was all most odd...

"Err - hello..." called out Mickey, wondering how he should introduce himself - unsure himself how to explain the pull he'd felt to this place. He had so much to say - so many stories to tell - like the time he had been chased down corridors by magically possessed brooms during Fantasia (that had been nasty - he'd been bruised for weeks!) Then there was his marriage to the lovely - now what was her name - Minnie...

"Have you come for the press show or to audition?"

Mickey jumped, his mind had wondered - standing before him was a man dressed like a caretaker with BARRY written on a baseball cap and next to him one of the viking men with a badge on his lapel that read : ERIK. "I - err... I'm not sure..."

"I,iii've never seen anything like it before..." said the Viking, Erik.

Barry frowned, "Hmm - neither have I - not since that night at XXL in August 2002 when - anyway - that's by the by... What are you doing here - press or audition? Audition is it?" he asked hopefully.

There was a glint in Barry's eye that frightened Mickey, "Audition for what?"

"The circus FOOL - you some sort of comedy act - parody on Disney or something?"

"Disney..." The name rang a bell, "Disney... Oh, you mean Uncle Walt..."

Barry laughed, "Hey that's cute - whatever... Listen - the bottom line is that we need acts desparately alright - it's opening night and the boss has just put a ban on us using all the alien performance acts that we had lined up... I've just come back from auditioning some jugglers and we have a knitting act and that's about it... If you can do comedy then that's great... The pay's not good - but - hey - neither are the acts - YET!"

Mickey looked awkwardly - he suddenly realised that he was being surrounded. The viking workers had seen him standing there in his odd mouse costume, sitting on his buggy and they now looked fascinated...

"I don't know..." said Mickey, "The wife might not like it - Uncle Walt might not like it..."

Barry frowned, "Do it for us for a favour, huh? You don't want to make these lads cross now do you?"

Mickey looked at the slowly angering Vikings but tried to be brave, "Not tonight hey... May another night - I should be going..."

"ERIK!" Barry turned to address his original companion, "DRASTIC MEASURES ERIK..." Erik nodded and indicated to a group of Vikings in the shadows, "I'll ask you again Sir..."

"Mickey..."

Barry tried to hide his smirk, "Okay - Mickey - I'll ask you one more time... I need a favour... I need an extra act for tonight's press show and you seem to fit the bill... You turn up in costume and it's all too good to be true... Don't disappoint me now hey? Come on Mickey - say you'll join us..."

"I'm sorry - but no..."

Barry lifted his hand, Erik gave a whoop and the next thing that Mickey knew the Vikings seemed to be riotting a net was falling down upon his head and then all was darkness...

"Hello..." said Mickey eventually, "I could rethink my decision..."

But nobody out there was listening - as he felt himself being dragged off across bumpy ground he heard Barry the Caretaker mumbling excitedly, "Well done Erik... I wonder if there are any more like him out there in the desert..." he said to a response of laughter from the viking, "A job well done Erik - we make a good team..." he continued, "Fancy coming back to mine tonight?"

-----

Finally she'd managed to get in to see him... Even though Bowen had vanished he seemed to have left confirmation with the Ward sister that she should be allowed in - so he was probably actually the one she should be thanking really...

He looked so squashed - so flat (literally as flat as a sheet of medium strength cardboard) and lifeless... But he wasn't totally lifeless... He was still breathing - although the respirator was doing most of the hard work for him... He was also deep in a coma and yet when she reached out to take his hand he seemed to squeeze her hand and she thought she heard him speaking inside her head...

"Samantha - I'm sorry... I don't know how I'm going to make up for this..."

"Yen?"

"Yes..."

It definitely was him.

"Why did you lie to me... I'd have stayed with you if you'd just asked... You're a fascinating man - you didn't need to lie..."

"I know now - I'm sorry..."

"Bowen's here..."

"BOWEN!" the thought transference raised its strength, "NO SAM - HE IS DANGEROUS..."

There was a knock on the door, Sam's thoughts were disturbed and suddenly she could speak with him no more...

It was the Sister.

"Sorry lady... But there's someone here to see you... Her name is Edie... Do you want to speak with her?"

EDIE!

Sam looked back guiltily at Yen, "Yes... Yes - alright..."

Out in the corridor Edie appeared to have gotten herself tossled up in a ball of wool, she seemed concerned, "How is he, dear?" she asked, "You mustn't put yourself in any more danger - you should leave him..."

"He can't hurt me now..." sighed Samantha, "But he did try to contact me telepathically - he's still alive but he's very weak - it's all very confusing - I met a man named Bowen - who said he was Yen's cousin but then... oh it was confusing..."

Edie had taken her hand and was staring at her intently, "Bowen is a very - evil man, Samantha... You truly are putting yourself in danger... Is he still here?"

"I don't know... He was very odd..."

"Well you stay with me, dear..." Edie insisted, "Is there somewhere we can go to speak... I have something I must tell you... Something that I've kept bottled up for years and have only just remembered..."

Samantha nodded - there was far too much going on - far too much to take in - but she would listen to Edie all the same.

"Yen..." she called, "Yen? Are you still there?"

There was no reply this time. So Samantha gave in and headed after Edie.

-----

How ever had he gotten himself into this pickle, wondered Mickey... He wasn't quite sure where they had taken him but he appeared to be inside some kind of wooden box. In the background he could hear growling noises and what sounded like animals moving about...

"Hello..." he called out nervously, "Hello?"

No reply.

"Oh well..." he mused and began to sort through his mind as many funny jokes as he could think of - really wishing he had never angered Barry and the Vikings... Afterall - what was the point... He was meant to be here... Drawn to the circus...

His skin was itching again and he tried to get his fingers under the sleeves of his costume... But they were no longer any sleeves - only black mouse fur covering his arms...

"Why me..." sighed Mickey sadly, "This would never have happened to Bugs Bunny..."

-----

"Yen... Yen can you hear me?"

Nothing.

"Yen?"

Still no reply.

"Mr Bowen?"

"Samantha... Samantha... Please concentrate?" Samantha jolted alert as Edie fumbled around in her handbag.

"I'm sorry..." Samantha apologised, "Very sorry... What is it that you wanted to tell me?"

"I wanted to show you this..."

Edie held out the photograph.

"That's me..." gasped Sam, "Where did you get that? From my mum's house?"

"No..." said Edie, "It's mine..."

"But that was taken years ago - when I was a little girl... Did you know my mum or something? I don't understand..."

"Do you have one of these..." continued Edie without replying directly - she held out the envelope and inside it the letter...

"My Immortal Beloved. I journey without joy, until I can feel the peace of being at home..."

Samantha stared at Edie open-mouthed...

"What does it mean?" she said.

"It means that you're my long-lost daughter..." said Edie.

They sat in silence for a long time. Edie was the first to speak.

"You don't believe me..."

"I do..." Samantha corrected her - although still visibly shaken, "It makes sense... Well, no - it makes no sense - but there you are..."

Edie laid a hand on her arm, "I have so much to tell you - but we must take time..."

Silence again. Samantha spoke.

"So who am I?" she said, "Do you know who I really am? My real name..."

Edie shook her head, "No... I suppose you must presume that it really is Samantha..."

"Not Tula then, or Carol or - whatever else I've been hearing... But why don't you know for sure..."

"All I know is that I gave birth to you and that they took you away from me and then put such a gap in our ages that you'd never guess that we were related... I don't even totally remember my own background - a lot of my past memories are missing - they took them away..."

Samantha couldn't figure any of it out - it all seemed so dreadful, so confused, "But you must know who I am - if you gave birth to me - what did you call me?"

"I never got a chance to call you anything... He took you away and placed you with that other woman - Patricia Ruth... She became your adopted mother - she wasn't real though Samantha - just a character he created to look after you until you were older - grown up... Until he needed you..."

"He? Who do you mean? Who did all this..."

"Yen..."

"How come you're only just remembering that now..."

"Don't ask me dear..." said Edie sadly, "All I had was that letter and the photo - but then as soon as we met... Well - it all came back to me... Things I never realised I knew - things that were hidden away - so much information... Suddenly it came flooding back, dear..."

"And Yen did this? He's responsible for splitting us up..."

"I believe so... I'm 102 now - I gave birth to you when I was 22 in 1920 but he must have taken you into the future because it's 2002 now and you're what - late 20s - early 30s..." Samantha nodded. "He must have known that he wanted to use you... He had you lined up all the time..."

"But what for? Bowen said he was obsessed with me - infatuated - in love or something..."

"Obssessed yes... But that's because he knew he was going to die here - knew he couldn't escape fate... He will try anything... You are his successor... He wants you to carry on the work he began..."

"But why me..."

"Because Samantha, dear..." said Edie, "He is your father..."

-----

Bowen stood looking down at Yen as he lay silent and unmoving on his bed. There were no hospital staff about and the blinds were drawn on his private room. Bowen was kitted out in a figure hugging green hospital "cat suit" (as he liked to think of it...)

"It is time for us to say goodbye now, Yen..." he murmured, "I'm looking gorgeous - shame we can't say the same for you! You're looking flat..."

"STOP THIS! STOP THIS! STOP! STOP! STOP!"

Yen's telepathy was growing weaker as his strength depleted...

"Take it easy... Give in... I am your rightful heir Yen... Myself and the lovely Samantha... There's no need for two of us cluttering up the place - we're both doing the same job... Just think of this as survival of the fittest... Bless you - but you just weren't good enough - but you were a fine teacher... Taught me everything you knew - told me all about yourself and your powers - showed me up to be nothing more than some has-been talentless writer... But I've risen above all that - thanks to you - I have drained you not only intellectually but physically... I have BECOME you... How's that for a pupil-teacher relationship ey... It must make you smile Yen? Surely?"

Silence... Not even telepathic communication.

"Cat got your tongue?"

Silence.

"Tired ey?" Bowen smiled, "Then rest... Sleep deeply sweet Prince..."

Bowen reached up to the life-support machine and flicked off the switch...

But Yen was already gone - fading away into nothing... There should have been alarms - alarms that warned the staff of the critical nature of their patients health... But they alarms did not go off...

"Goodbye Yen..." said Bowen and then turned away - closing his eyes... "Hello Samantha..." he muttered.

By the time the hospital staff found Yen some twenty minutes later the room was empty of any mysterous visitors and Yen was beyond help - long dead and helpless. Elsewhere he had been reborn as a man once known only for looking gorgeous and writing rather pleasant pieces of writing... Yen was dead - but the man named Bowen was only just beginning to live...

What will happen next...

What is the truth of the link between Samantha and Edie? Has Bowen really killed Yen? Will Mavis and Rwanda contact Trent in time to make the cows change their minds? WHAT THE BLUMIN' HECK IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT TIME...

Find out soon...

PART NINE WILL FOLLOW BY FRIDAY 8TH NOVEMBER 2002...

Please Contribute to Part 9 - or at least write to us at : PCBEECHES@HOTMAIL.COM to tell us you're still reading...

Remember - if you would prefer to print out an episode to read later - each instalment is about 10-12 pages...

Friday, October 18, 2002

AN ONGOING SAGA - SERIES 2 - STORY 1...

PART SEVEN : I CAN HEAR THE GRASS GROW... By The Yeti of Belgrave Square. Letter by Andrew Reid.

Last Episode : In which Samantha learns about life - Lavinia can't remember - the Circus is in town and no-one can see for grass...

This Episode : In which Trent makes communication - Mavis and Rwanda are lost - Hazel takes Lavinia away from it all and Samantha meets Yen's "cousin"...

"We have a visitor..." said Rwanda suddenly, "A colleague..."

Mavis had a faceful of grass so pushed it aside, "One of your lot?"

"Yes... Trent Diamond... Bit of rebellious sort... I'm not actually sure what he's doing here... It's all a bit of a confusion..."

"He could help us?"

"I'm more worried that he might get in the way... I have a nasty feeling that he's already made contact with the host..."

"With Helena? But how..."

"I'm not sure..."

"Maybe he'll be able to help her..."

Rwanda shook her head, "I'm sorry Mavis - they'll be no actual chance of saving Helena..."

PART EIGHT WILL FOLLOW BY FRIDAY 25TH OCTOBER 2002...

Please Contribute to Part 8 - or at least write to us at : PCBEECHES@HOTMAIL.COM to tell us you're still reading...

STAY TUNED...

PAUL!

AN ONGOING SAGA - SERIES 2 - STORY 1...

PART SEVEN : I CAN HEAR THE GRASS GROW... By The Yeti of Belgrave Square. Letter by Andrew Reid.

Dear "Any-Potential-Readers"...

Sadly, all contact with the out-side world appears to be broken. During our three week absense I received only one mail from the outside world - it was from a kind gentleman called Andrew Reid who lives in Budapest... His message is as follows :

Paul-

I've recently checked your latest ongoing saga site, and although I'm not sure who some of the characters are, because i would have had to read the entire first saga I think - it all seems very good stuff. Incidentally, did you know arthur conan doyle began writing in his office, because he had rather a lot of free time, and thus the Sherlock Holmes stories were born ?

Happy Thoughts. A

Andrew may well be our only reader - please let me know if this is not the case... I am, of course, presuming that this situation is some kind of conspiracy organised by anti-Saga protesters/LL Bowen fans and I fear that Fatima may now have been coersed into their number...

You may be interested to know that I have now recovered from my mugging outside the Ongoing Saga office, after taking a break in the Channel Islands and Scotland (where I believe events may be brewing for a later Saga...) Despite now being the only remaining Saga journalist I do intend to keep posting. The Ongoing Saga office was empty when I returned to it - Fatima has gone missing along with all the equipments and files - however I intend to work from home.

Please let me know if you are able to read this... I would like to think it is worth carrying on this mission...

Paul a.k.a. "The Yeti of Belgrave Square"

Last Episode : In which Samantha learns about life - Lavinia can't remember - the Circus is in town and no-one can see for grass...

This Episode : In which Trent makes communication - Mavis and Rwanda are lost - Hazel takes Lavinia away from it all and Samantha meets Yen's "cousin"...

RECAP : The crate began to rattle - sharp swipey claws were poking their way out at them...

"Oh golly..." barked Barry looking as if he'd just had an accident, "They never got as cross as this before..."

"WE SHOULD RUN, DEAR!" cried Edie - but it was too late to get far and Barry just stood staring mouth wide open as if mimicking a railway tunnel...

"RUN, DEAR - QUICKLY!"

But it was too late...

The crate exploded in a angry wail of splinters and spines - and there it was - the furious beast - face to face with them amongst the maze of crates...

The Bennihillasaurus growled hungrily and them from under a pile of woodwork - raising its claws to strike...

"Oh Mavis..." sighed Edie - but this time Mavis was thousands of miles away - Barry lay in a faint on the floor...

She would have to deal with this matter herself!!!

---

Rwanda and Mavis were lost - if you could call it being lost when you weren't quite sure where you were meant to be going in the first place... It didn't help now that Hyde Park was a jungle... Mavis knew the Park pretty well - at least she used to - but now this was not the case at all...

"We should keep to the Serpentine..." she had suggested.

A nice idea - but actually finding the Serpentine had proved a problem and they'd ended up wandering in totally the wrong direction!

The whole area around the Park was the same - and yet nobody seemed to have noticed or was commenting... The buses were merrily driving on their old routes and the commuters continued to read their Financial Times and later in the day their Evening Standards and presumably the tourists just thought this was all perfectly normal...

It was whilst they were blundering around in the long grass that they first saw the cows - a whole parade of them - statues and all - a rainbow of colours - a herd of them heading off to drink...

"Shall we follow them?"

Rwanda seemed to be staring in totally the opposite direction - intently regarding a clump of grass that had attempted to poke her in the ear-hole.

"I can hear them..."

"Of course you can, dear - they've got galumphing great feet on them..."

"Not the cows - the grass... I can actually hear it growing... The seed heads are ripe - soon the wind will scatter them..."

Mavis wasn't quite sure what they could do about it all, "Weed killer - couldn't we kill the grass with weed killer - I know grass isn't strictly a weed - but that sort of stuff kills anything it touches..."

"No time..." said Rwanda wistfully and then seemed to gather herself, "Come..." she encouraged, "We should follow the cows before we lose them..."

Above them black clouds were forming - the first splashes of rain were beginning to fall...

Rwanda and Mavis headed on...

---

The Bennihillasaurus growled again somewhere in the gloom behind her - but Edie wouldn't face it - didn't want to see it in its full glory... Fearful that it would render her incapable of escape due to its scary extra appearance...

So far - escape was proving quite difficult...

I wasn't easy to run with a man slumped on your shoulders, she mused - she'd managed to get Barry into a firemans-lift style arrangement but he really was a little on the heavy side - at least for a usually genteel lady over 100 years in age...

The beast was after her...

It leapt at them from its position on top of the rubble of exploded - Edie closed her eyes and kept on moving...

KERTHUMP!!

Silence...

The creature was still coming but something wasn't quite right...

"Excuse me..."

It was hard to hear the voice at first - other creatures were still trying to get out of the other boxes in the store and there was quite rumble of disatisfied beasties failing to make their ways to freedom - quite a clammer which at first muffled the new voice...

"Excuse me..."

IT WAS THE BENNIHILLASAURUS...

"Excuse me..." it repeated, "But can you slow down - you're going too fast for me to catch you..."

Edie wasn't quite sure what to make of it - she stopped - gave the poor creature a quick glance - taking in that, for such a large beast - the animal had rather tinsy, almost non-existant feet and was far too slow to put up any real chase...

"Oh dear... You poor thing..." sighed Edie and wondered if she should go over a pat the creature - deciding that perhaps this was taking the sympathy a wee bit too far.

Barry was regaining consciousness.

Things were looking up!

---

Trent was feeling a tad disorientated - although he'd finally gotten used to the idea of talking cows - admittedly it had been a bit of a surprise first off... (...But it was a very kind, friendly looking cow - so hard to be too scared or uncomfortable in it's presence...)

"Pleased to meet you..." it had said.

"Likewise..." Trent had found himself replying.

"Would you like to understand?" asked the cow.

"Understand what exactly?"

"EVERYTHING..." said the cow.

"Oh." said Trent, "Go on then..."

The cow smiled and ambled closer - leaving the statue behind, "You're not scared are you?"

"Not particularly..." Trent replied, although this was not entirely true.

"You mustn't be scared..." said the cow, "I know what you're thinking... You've never met a talking cow before now have you..."

"Not when I've been sober..."

"I'm not so different you know... I was once like you... But now I'm an entity - a consciousness..."

"Sounds like an interesting career curve..."

"I used to work in a shop..." said the cow, "I used to be called Helena... But now we are universal..."

"Trent nodded, "That must be very interesting... So how do I learn EVERYTHING Helena?"

"We need your help..." said the cow ignoring him, "We are beginning to sense opposition - from an intelligent source... We have been able to stop the everyday locals from opposing us - they are pretty stupid - but I sense that you are different..."

"I am a bit different..." admitted Trent, "Do you mean that there is somebody else around here - somebody like me..."

"One of your kind..." confirmed the cow.

"It's to be expected - I suppose that's why I'm here myself..."

"But they plan to oppose us - to get rid of us - that is not how it should be..."

"I'm sorry..."

"We should be taking over London..."

"I see - you cows is it? Taking over London..."

"It is our destiny..."

"In your opinion..."

"No Trent - it is fact - it MUST become - it is the future..."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know EVERYTHING..."

Trent nodded, "Of course! Sorry - forgot... But my colleagues don't know this - rather stupid of them not to check..."

"You sound sceptical Trent - do you not believe me?"

"Well - you must admit that cows taking over London is a bit far out... I don't know personally - I don't come from around here - infact I come from so far in the future that there isn't even a London to take over - it's just grass land and fields and..."

"Exactly..." said the cow, "That is our doing."

"Oh..."

"Let me show you how it happens..."

"Go on then..."

"Then you will help us?"

"I'll do my best..." The cow seemed to nod and nuzzled Trent with it's nose and began to lick him. "Hey - careful - you'll ruin my jerkin..."

"Just relax..." said the cow, "I will lick you and we shall commune together - that why I can share our knowledge..."

Trent sighed, "Okay then..." he agreed a tad uncomfortably, "Lick away..."

Suddenly Trent was floating - suddenly life was changing - suddenly everything was beginning to make sense...

---

Siggtrigger was looking quite alarmed as a group of Vikings double checked the storage doors - confirming that all creatures inside were now secure. Barry and Edie looked a tad exhausted and the Bennihillsaurus could still be heard complaining about it not being fair that it's "prey" ran faster than it did... Overall though things were a lot quieter in the storage unit since the monsters had been brought in their tea... (Spaghetti hoops on toast - with a boiled eggs and soldiers, not real soldiers mind as that was barbaric and too expensive...)

"I really must apologise..." sighed Siggtrigger, "Things really did get a tad out of hand..."

"It really is most lucky that the wee beasty had such short legs..." sighed Edie, "Otherwise I fear we'd have been a gonna..."

Siggtrigger suddenly looked even more severe, "God golly... I am beginning to wonder whether keeping a circus of alien animals might not be a tad dangerous... Maybe we should just let them go..."

"I wouldn't do that Sir!" exclaimed Barry in alarm, "Perhaps you could return them home..."

"Perhaps..."

"But then what about the circus?"

"Maybe Samantha might have an idea..."

Edie had a suggestion, "I'm sure Samantha might be able to assist you - but I think she may well be at the hospital by now - on the other hand I do have some ideas myself..."

"You do?" Siggtrigger looked keen, "Will it save the circus?"

"It might just do that..." agreed Edie, "Forget the aliens and develop a more people friendly act..."

"Such as..."

"Well - quick speed knitting for a start..."

"Quick speed knitting?"

"A friend of mine taught me it... Would you like to see an example?"

"Go on then..." cut in Barry.

"Okay then..." smiled Edie enthusiastically, "What exactly would you like me to knit..."

Five minutes later Edie had knitted a fully functioning Brad Pitt...

"This..." grinned Siggtrigger, "Is an act that will run and run... What would you say if I offered you a job?"

"I'd say, yes please..." came the reply.

---

The festival had been over a day or so now - and all the tents and the stage and all the other distractions had been pulled down and shifted away from the field adjoining the castle... The field still displayed the scar of recent activity - the grass churned up into mud...

"I don't know why I wanted to come back here..." Lavinia murmured. "I know I should do..."

They had found the patch of earth that Lavinia vaguely remembered as a hole...

"If it's not come back to you then maybe that's a sign you should leave it, hey?"

"Maybe Haze - maybe..."

Hazel had already booked them a flight away from here... Their lakeside home was too close for comfort... They were to fly to Guernsey, where Hazel owned property (a ramshackle cottage - left to her in a will - but it would give them a project...)

The previous night Lavinia had woken up screaming, "They're down there - down there - in the hole - under the earth..." Well - it had been something like that...

Hazel had even tried to gather together a few of the locals to dig into the earth - the Police had even gotten involved... But they'd not found anything down there and there was nothing on the plans of the castle to suggest that there had ever been any chamber or room where anyone could have gotten trapped...

Lavinia's memories of the festival were faded - dreamlike - and yet despite the lack of all proof Hazel suspected that there was more to Lavinia's thoughts than simply make-believe...

But there was nothing for it... Hazel had to get Lavinia away and her lover now seemed resigned to it...

The following day they drove to the airport and flew out to Guernsey. All the way over Lavinia was writing and it was only that evening that Hazel was able to sneak a peak at what her other half had written. For some reason the poem Lavinia had written made Hazel cry. Something was wrong. But neither of them could explain it.

Another mystery left to join the Great Unanswered.

PARK BENCHES.

Sometimes I sit with Cyril -
Sometimes I sit with Shaw -
Sometimes I sit with Simon -
Or where Judy came to draw...
Sometimes I sit with Melvin -
Who always came here in the shine...
This place was a favourite of Richard's -
And now it's a favourite of mine...
Sometimes I sit next to Emma -
Sometimes I sit next to Lou -
Or where Ben came courting with Sally -
Married in Spring Fifty Two...
Sometimes I hear them all chatting -
Sometimes I imagine they're here...
Ben went away in the Eighties -
Sally's been gone just a year...
Sometimes I sit here with Mabel -
Sometimes I sit with her son...
Who misses the arms of his mother -
No longer to her can he run...
Sometimes I sit lonely with Matthew -
Sometimes I sit lonely with Kyle...
Now nobody comes by to see them -
I visit them once in a while...
Sometimes I sit thinking of our life -
And wish we'd a bench here to share...
But you've found a new love to tend to -
So I'll sit here and pretend not to care.

---

"We have a visitor..." said Rwanda suddenly, "A colleague..."

Mavis had a faceful of grass so pushed it aside, "One of your lot?"

"Yes... Trent Diamond... Bit of rebellious sort... I'm not actually sure what he's doing here... It's all a bit of a confusion..."

"He could help us?"

"I'm more worried that he might get in the way... I have a nasty feeling that he's already made contact with the host..."

"With Helena? But how..."

"I'm not sure..."

"Maybe he'll be able to help her..."

Rwanda shook her head, "I'm sorry Mavis - they'll be no actual chance of saving Helena..."

"Sorry?"

"It's much too late for that... It's the grass seed I'm more worried about - once it reaches maturity I have a nasty feeling it might kill off what human life is left around here..." Mavis struggled to take this all in, Rwanda was looking very distracted and yet it was obvious once again that they were well and truly lost - and that the herd of cows they had been following was only wandering aimlessly and that, unfortunately, they did not seem to be leading them anywhere of use at all... "I've got to make sure that Trent doesn't get in the way... Got to find out how he's been able to make contact - maybe he's our only way forward... He can talk to them for us..."

"But Helena..."

Rwanda turned, "What about her? I've told you - there's more important matters to be worrying about... We can't save Helena - she no longer exists - not in any human form - as far as that's concerned she's gone... She's a consciousness - that's all... There's nothing more we can do for her... Trent is our priority now - contacting him and using his communicative powers to get our message through to the cows - before it's too late and the grass matures... Do you understand?"

Mavis nodded. "I understand..." she replied grimly.

But Rwanda didn't appear to be listening and had already closed her eyes. She was concentrating deeply - murmuring under his breath...

"Trent - can you hear me... This is Rwanda... Please listen to me... Trent..."

-----

"I'm sorry Miss Ruth - but there's no way you can see your friend just now..."

Samantha had made her way to the hospital where the ambulance had transported the badly squashed Yen. But they were still not keen on letting her in to see him.

"WHEN can I see him then? Is he undergoing surgery or something? He was badly splatted by a time travelling public house..." she added, but the look the receptionist gave her suggested that perhaps this (although true) was a fact that was just a little too far out to be taken seriously.

"I'm afraid we have no more news on your friend just now..."

"Is his cousin here yet? Can I speak to him?"

"His cousin?"

Samantha sighed, it was like getting blood from a stone, "When I originally phoned here I was told that I couldn't see Mr Thyme but that I could see his cousin Mr Bowen who was here..."

The secretary looked blank and began to resemble some kind of cartoon character whose jaw was slowly sinking below reasonable levels of gravity. "It wasn't me you spoke to..." she said lamely.

"I know that... But whoever I did speak to said it would be possible... Will you check for me?"

"I'll go and see lady..."

"Thank you..."

Samantha turned away from the desk - waiting... waiting...

"Hello..." said a voice in her ear, "Were you looking for me?"

There was a man standing by her side - for a minute she thought it was Yen himself...

"Mr Bowen?"

"At your service my little lovely..." said the man who appeared to be dressed up in a home-made Donald Duck costume.

"You came in disguise?"

"Oh yes..." said Mr Bowen, Yen's cousin, "Well you have to don't you? I lost my suitcase at the airport..."

"I'm sorry..."

Mr Bowen smiled, waving away her sympathy, "Not your fault..." he chuckled, "This was the first thing I could find... But you have to be careful with these sorts of things - they have a way of taking you over..."

"They do?"

"Oh yes, Miss Ruth... Why I used to have a friend who used to dress as Wily Coyote... Well - you can imagine..."

"What happened..."

"I'm afraid he's no longer with us... Those ACME bombs have quite a punch..."

"Right..."

"ANYWAY!! You'll be wanting to hear how Yen is... Come this way..."

Gingerly, Samantha nodded and began to follow the man - leaving the Reception behind them as they hurried away into the depths of the hospital...

What will happen next...

What will become of Samantha in the depths of the hospital... What is Bowen planning? Will Mavis and Rwanda contact Trent in time to make the cows change their minds? WHAT THE BLUMIN' HECK IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT TIME...

Find out soon...

PART EIGHT WILL FOLLOW BY FRIDAY 25TH OCTOBER 2002...

Please Contribute to Part 8 - or at least write to us at : PCBEECHES@HOTMAIL.COM to tell us you're still reading...
Remember - if you would prefer to print out an episode to read later - each instalment is about 10-12 pages...

Paul

Friday, September 20, 2002

AN ONGOING SAGA - SERIES 2 - STORY 1...

PART SIX : TEARS OF A CLOWN... By Paul Chandler. Ideas by Mum and Dad.

PLEASE NOTE : Paul was unable to post this episode and is currently laid up with concussion having been attacked outside the Saga office. His Mother and Father (Lisa Parker and Andrew Trowbridge) have pieced together his notes and added some thoughts of their own and we are now able to bring you PART SIX as scheduled...

Many Thanks to Andrew Trowbridge and Lisa Parker for their help and advice.

Last Episode : In which Mavis makes a SQUEAK, Trent rebels, Carol becomes Samantha again and visions of the future finally become a reality...

This Episode : In which Samantha learns about life - Lavinia can't remember - the Circus is in town and no-one can see for grass...

RECAP : Yen was looking up at the sky... He looked scared - there was a black cloud hovering over him - he was dimmed by shadow, "OH MY GOD!!!" he screamed.

It wasn't a black cloud... The shadows got bigger... Samantha looked up... It was a building - a pub - and it was falling down from the sky onto Yen...

DOWN - DOWN - DOWN...

Yen tried to run - but he couldn't get away quickly - Samantha tried to call out to him - but couldn't think what to say - it was all happening so quickly... The pub landed on him - squashed him fully with a scream and what may well have been a squelch... Samantha just stood and stared - no matter what she felt for him she had never imagined Yen being squashed by a falling pub in the prime of his life...

Sam could hear sirens - Police cars streaming across from the airport - she could hear the old lady still calling out, "STOP THIEF - STOP..."

But it was too late - Yen could do no more damage...

It was then she remembered the image she'd seen on the karaoke screen when she'd been Carol - the image of the time traveling pub... It had all come to pass... A vision of the future - now the reality of the present...

ONE HOUR LATER...

Yen was dead...

Samantha sat on a rock in the desert and just stared out towards the scene of the accident - nobody even seemed to notice her...

The Police were swarming the fallen Pub (YE OLDE QUEEN'S HEAD) for what seemed like an age but was probably only ten minutes or so... It appeared to be empty... Until... Suddenly a couple of ambulance men emerged with a stretcher - there was a body on it...

"We have a live one here..."

Samantha stood up - walking slowly towards the ambulance - suddenly a figure appeared at her side...

"It's him dear - somehow he survived that pub falling on him..." It was Edie - still looking flustered from her attempt to help Sam escape.

Yen... Not dead afterall - but he had to be pretty badly hurt surely... After being hit by a falling pub...

"I don't understand how this happened..." sighed Samantha.

"Do you mean how he survived or how the building fell on him, dear?"

"Both I suppose..."

"It was a very timely accident - from your point of view..."

Samantha frowned, "I was running away from him - I was scared of him - but I didn't expect him to get hit by a house - although..."

"What is it, dear?" Edie coaxed, taking Samantha's arm as they walked.

"I had a vision about this... Well - at least about the pub - not about it falling on Yen..."

"I'd never seen him without his bag, dear - all the photos at Green Meadows had him with his bag on... He's quite attractive really..."

"He changes..." mused Sam, "His face seems to be able to change - he has a different face every time I see him - he's not normal..."

"Not human?"

"Not as we understand it, no..."

"How very peculiar, dear... I really do think we should go and have a chat about things..."

Sam looked bewildered, "But what about Yen - shouldn't I go to the hospital?"

"Later maybe - I've taken details - we can go later..." The ambulance was already pulling away and the Police had cordoned off the pub and were also making ready to leave... "This vision..." continued Edie, "Tell me about it..."

Samantha frowned - staring at the building, "It was in space - travelling through time and space..."

"How peculiar..."

"Most odd... Do you want to take a look inside now the Police have gone - just incase?"

Edie nodded, "I've had my luggage sent on to Caesar's - they should take care of it... Why not, dear..."

Samantha smiled - the desert was quiet once again... Taking their opportunity Samantha raised up the red tape surrounding the building (which was still - remarkably - in tact...) and the two of them began to explore...

---

Lavinia was watching Hazel like a hawk - (Hazel! Here at last! Sitting on the end of the bed wrapped in a dressing gown and hair towelled dry straight from the shower...) Lavinia had put the finishing touches to a new poem - probably the final poem of her new collection and she was eager to know what her better half thought of it... There was another poem at the back of her mind - one called THINGS AIN'T WHAT THEY USED TO BE - she had notes for it but hadn't written it yet - although - although - the funny thing was she felt as if she had already seen it completed... Her mind was very foggy - but as yet she'd said nothing to Hazel... They were still in Askrigg - for one last day since the festival had finished - tomorrow they were due to return to Braithwaite...

Lavinia kept watching - Hazel was grinning but hadn't yet gotten to the end - still things were looking good - Hazel was notoriously critical if she didn't like something and they argued about their work all the time - even when they'd just been good friends... But Lavinia had a good feeling about this one - Hazel's expression seemed to bear that out...

Recently she'd found herself turning away from more solemn verse and this piece was another humourous poem - a jolly ditty called...

THIRD TIME LUCKY.

First time's never work out...
She learnt this fact first hand...
Married to a drummer -
From a heavy metal band!
Her first job was a nightmare!
Her first car fell apart!
She ran away to Brighton -
On a junk yard horse and cart!
Her first affair was fated!
Her first bank job a flop!
Saved from jail by offering -
Gold bullion to a cop!
First time on tele-vision -
She forgot quite what to say!
Her first night as a call girl -
With a man who didn't pay!
First attempts to choose a winner -
Grand National pick came last -
So she had to try a second time -
Range available was vast!
Her second husband though no better -
He used to dress like her...
And had a crush on Ironside...
As played by Raymond Burr...
Her second job was scary...
Free-falling from a plane!
Her second car exploded!
Whilst on a trip to Spain!
Affairs - bank jobs and telly...
All met a drastic fate...
Her second National fancy,
Fell at the second gate!
But her third attempts were splendid!
Third husband quite adored!
Third job was quite successful!
Fighter pilot! Never bored!
Third car a large Ferrari!
Third National choice he won by miles!
Third bank job earnt her millions!
And nights out on the tiles!
Sometimes first goes are fated!
Second times more often suck!
Best persevere a third time!
Fingers crossed for third time luck!

Hazel was smiling - she looked up, "You should call the book that..." she suggested, "Third Time Lucky... Is it autobiographical?"

Lavinia smirked, "Three husbands... Err - I don't think so..."

"What's up?" Hazel would usually have given her a more detailed critique - but she obviously sensed something wasn't quite right, "You look edgy - what is it?"

"Just keen to hear your views..."

"I love it - but it's not that..."

"What!?!"

"You seem restless that's all Lavie - the festival's over - work done - we can go back to the Lakes tomorrow - what's the problem... You need a holiday that's what... How about we go to the cottage in Guernsey - down tools for a week or two before the autumn..."

"That would be nice..."

"Nice!?! Come on love - what is it - did something happen at the festival?"

It was her chance to explain... To voice her doubts... For a minute Lavinia hesitated but then nodded - confirming for sure now that there was definitely something wrong, "To be honest Haze there is something bothering me - but I don't know how to explain it... I think I should go to the doctors - my memory - I mean... I can't remember any of it - any of the festival - it's just a blur..."

"You were busy..."

"It's not that Haze - I can remember some of it - reading on the stage - most of that stuff... I remember meeting somebody - somebody who we both know... God - who was it!? Bowen... Old Laurie Bowen..."

"He was there!?! God - I thought he was long since on the scrap heap - hasn't written for years... What was he doing there..."

"This is the problem - I can't remember - I recall meeting him and then... It's just a blur..."

"He probably got you drunk..."

"Maybe - but there was something else..."

"Such as?"

"Auntie Mave rung me... She wanted me to have some friends of hers to stay here - short notice - all very mysterious... Wanted me to keep an eye on them... Can't remember their names either - no no - I can come to think of it... Gail and... Ray!"

"Your Auntie Mavis - she's as bad as my Auntie Fatima! So what happened - they didn't show up?"

"They did... I'm sure they did..."

"I think maybe you do need to see a doctor love... Surely you can remember if you met them or not... Have you had a fall or something - banged your head?"

"Don't think so... No bruises! I'd have remembered..." she paused, "I'm sure that they turned up - they came with me to the festival rehearsal and then I'm sure they were there yesterday too..."

"But they weren't there when I showed up - maybe they just left... Have you asked Mave?"

Lavinia was flustered, "I tried to ring... But... No reply... I just have this horrible feeling that something happened to them and I can't remember what... Something about a cave - or a pothole or something..."

"A pot hole?"

"I know it doesn't make any sense Haze... But none of it does... It wasn't until I woke up this morning that I even remembered that they were supposed to have been here... Perhaps you're right - perhaps they did just leave suddenly... But I'm sure Auntie Mave would want to know about it... I wish I could just speak to her about it... I'm SO CERTAIN they were here at some point though... Oh God Hazel - what does it all mean... Why can't I remember?"

"It'll be alright..." Haze was up on her feet and coming across to comfort her, "It'll be fine - we'll see the doctor - get him to give you a check up - you were probably just very drunk yesterday..."

"Did I SEEM drunk when you met up with me..."

Hazel didn't know quite what to say - Lavinia hadn't seemed drunk at all - but she remembered one thing... She'd had mud all over the knees of her her otherwise clean jeans - and dirt in her fingernails...

Now whatever did that mean?

"I just have this horrible feeling that something happened to them... ...Something about a cave - or a pothole..."

---

At first Samantha and Edie found nothing...

The door to YE OLDE QUEEN'S HEAD stood ajar and the two of them made their way inside - and for the first five minutes as they explored they could find nothing which could in anyway be described as odd or out of place... (Except for the building itself, of course!) There was a bar - seating - pictures - a pool table - nothing out of place - nothing even upturned despite the fall...

"I can't see how this can possibly be a time machine..." murmured Samantha, "It's just - A PUB!"

"Not so..." said a voice - the two ladies turned in surprise...

The top of one of the tables (made from an empty beer barrel) suddenly flipped open and standing before them was a rather large and chunky viking, "Siggtrigger..."

"Samantha..."

They had met briefly some while before - when Siggtrigger had briefly manned Yen's Submarine - the Unsinkable Peach... Just before it had been destroyed by Trent and Sally...

"YOU GOT AWAY!!" they both said at once.

Edie just stood and watched - taking it all in as if it was perfectly normal - the meeting of old friends...

"I escaped with Yen..." said Sam, "It's a long story..."

"It always is..." smiled Siggtrigger as he hauled himself out of the beer barrel, "I was pulled back into the past just before the ship was about to self-destruct..."

"And this... this... Pub..."

"A time machine..." grinned Siggtrigger, "Built by Erik - my trusty side-kick... Unfortunately we've been having problems with it... As soon as we crashed I shut down the systems - which is why it doesn't look like a time machine in here... It's all tucked away - as I was myself - I'm not sure I'm quite ready to meet 21st Century Policemen... Although they did look quite cuddly..." he admitted.

"But where are the rest of the crew..."

"That's MY long story... I think I'm going to have to abandon ship for now - what with all the fuss I've made by falling out of the sky... We're based elsewhere you see - just at present - we own a casino now - if you'd like to come with me ladies then I'll try and explain as we walk..."

---

"Trent..." said a voice, "Trent - where am I?"

Trent wasn't sure where HE was let alone off advice to the voice that eminated from his coat pocket...

It was Sally of course - or Sally's remaining eye and eyebrow - her voice box still activated it seemed - somekind of intelligent system contained which allowed her to function...

"Where am I?" said Sally again, "It's dark in here..."

Trent raised the pocket up to his mouth and spoke into it, "Sally - it's me - Trent... You're - err - in my pocket..."

"Ohhh God Trent... What happened to me..."

"Err - Sally... Erm... There's not that much left of you dear - but I saved what there was..."

"Ohhhh..." Sally's groan of despair was heartbreaking, "How much of me?"

"Oh lots really..."

"How much? What exactly..."

"An eyebrow... Oh - and an eye..."

"And what else..."

"A voice box and intelligence unit - obviously - I mean - that'll be how you're communicating now..."

"Quite... What else? Don't tell me I'm bald..."

"Err - not quite..."

"Well how BAD is it? Come on Trent - don't spare me..."

"That's all that's left..." he said eventually, "Just the eye and the brow and the intelligent bit..."

"GOD!" she sniffled for a moment or two and then resolved, "Well it makes sense - that's how I'd have fitted into your pocket..."

"It'll be alright..."

"How do you work that one out?"

"Well - we might be able to rebuild you... Now it turns out that you're a cyborg..."

"DON'T SAY THAT!"

"Sorry..."

"I used to be so attractive..."

"Yes... Listen Sally - I'm just going to try and work out where we've arrived..."

But Sally didn't reply and appeared to be mumbling sulkily to herself...

Taking this as a good sign to ignore her Trent began to look around him...

He appeared to be in a jungle... An overgrown and grassy wilderness... Looking down he could just about make out a concrete path but this was strewn with fallen leaves and brambles. To his left was a lake - a large lake which stretched out into the distance and across from him was what appeared, at first glance, to be a statue...

...A statue of Peter Pan tending lovingly to a cow...

"How odd..." mused Trent, "This place is very familiar..."

Trent closed his eyes and concentrated...

Earth. England. London. Hyde Park. October 2002...

Trent looked around him - through the mist of grass up ahead of him...

"Hmm..." he mused, "Some one needs to take a lawn mower to all this..."

It was a good point - but ultimately there was nobody around to do so...

Why was he here? (He wondered) Was Yen around?

Something moved... Something across by the statue...

It wasn't Peter Pan... It was Peter Pan's cow... (Since when had Peter Pan had a cow!?! wondered Trent...)

The cow was staring at Trent - it was rainbow coloured with elegant fluttery earlashes - and having chewed at the cud for a number of minutes it smiled at him, "Hello..." said the cow, "Pleased to meet you..."

---

Siggtrigger's tale was indeed a long story - as Samantha and Edie were soon about to find...

He explained about Sally - about her nagging - about how the Submarine Norris had pretty much collapsed on its journey home through time back to A.D. 895 - but how Erik had been clever enough to invent time travel and how he had worked hard to turn YE OLDE QUEENS HEAD into a time machine... He told stories of travelling to new and strangely bizarre universes and how eventually they'd come to land in Vegas - squashing a Casino on the way and nearly losing their lives in a game of poker... Their new base was quite an eye-opener - they'd ended up winning the land which had contained the Casino which they'd demolished on their arrival. Circus Circus had been one of the most famous Casino's in the town until their arrival...

"But not any more - still we're rebuilding it... Keeping to the Circus theme - but Erik and some of the boys went off in the time machine and picked up a few unusual items to help us along..."

"Unusual animals?"

"Something like that... Not quite sure what they picked up..."

"Alien animals..."

"Err - I haven't actually seen them yet - our caretaker's dealing with that side of things... All the same - whatever they've got from their travels they won't be going anywhere else in the pub just now... It's become a tad tempremental - as you've seen... All that zooming around time and space has blown the fuses and it's stopped working... I was attempting to make one last journey in it - to put it into storage when I misjudged the distance and crashed it near the airport... Which brings you up to date..."

Samantha was nodding - they had arrived at the Vikings new base by this time - Edie had hurried off to make a phone call about her luggage and now Sam and Siggtrigger were waiting for a nice cup of tea in the Vikings new office...

"But can't Erik just make a new time machine?"

"He could..." agreed Sigg, catching his horny helmet on the light shade, "But we've all had enough of travelling for now... We always did like the 21st Century and we were hoping to get back here... This time we intend to stay - we seem to have broken the rules of time and none of us have been sucked back to A.D. 895 - so it's looking good so far..."

"It is..."

"But how can I apologise..." his tone had become very serious, "I wanted to say something earlier - but I didn't know how... I've hurt Yen - I landed on him - I will never forgive myself..."

"Please don't worry yourself..." assured Samantha, "Yen isn't the friend to me he once was - I'll explain..."

"Once the tea arrives..." Siggtrigger was still looking apologetic and was back on his feet, "Let me go and find out what's happened with it - things are going very slow around here - it's early days - there is a lot of work to be done before the Circus can re-open... My team are doing very well all the same - they are busy painting things as usual - it's all very hectic..."

Samantha laid a reassuring hand on his, "Okay... Calm down - don't panic... You go and see to your men or the tea or whatever and I'll just have a rest... I've had a busy few hours myself and I'm really not sure whether I'm coming or going at the moment..."

"You'll explain when I return..."

"Certainly..." and then she remembered, "Is it alright if I use the phone after Edie - I want to call the hospital to check on Yen - one way or another..."

Siggtrigger nodded eagerly, "For sure... Use my private line..." he indicated a statue of Mickey Mouse which stood on the edge of his desk - until he had mentioned it she hadn't noticed how Disney's famous mouse was holding a phone at a slightly rude angle...

"Thankyou..." smiled Samantha - but Siggtrigger was already gone.

---

Edie had made her first call - everything was fine with her luggage - but now she was busily attempting to make a second call...

"Mavis..." she had to leave a message - there was no reply, "Mavis - you'll never believe who I've met... That young woman - Samantha Ruth - and the man in the bag - except he didn't have a bag on - Yen - the one from Green Meadows... I've also met a whole gang of Vikings who are refurbishing a Casino - which they themselves squashed when they landed on it in their time machine which is shaped like an old fashioned pub..." Edie paused to allow time to take a breath, "So what do you make of all that then? I'll try and call you again later, dear..."

Edie put down the phone - trying to remember quite how to get back to the office where Samantha was supposed to be drinking tea with the friendly Viking...

It was then she noticed a pair of eyes watching her from a room marked CARETAKER...

"Hellooooo dear - helllooooo.... Can you help?"

The door slammed shut!

Not to be put off, Edie crossed from the phone towards the door and tapped on it gently...

"Hello dear - don't be shy - I won't bite - I just want to find your nice Mr Siggtrigger... I've got a tinsy bit lost in your lovely new Casino and can't remember how to get back to his office now..."

The door opened a crack, "Are you SURE you won't bite..." said a slightly nervous voice from inside the office.

"Of course not, dear - not unless you happen to be a Coq au Vin - I'm famished..."

"Did someone say cock?!"

Suddenly the Caretaker door swung open wide and a man dressed in a rather mismatched clown suit stood before her. He appeared to be wearing odd shoes (unbelievably large and silly shoes too with massive heels on them...) He was just awash with colour - a walking rainbow and seemed to be wearing his polka dot green wig back to front... He's obviously been trying out face paints when she'd interuptted and looked a rather frightening mess as a result... Proudly pinned on his chest was a badge which read : CARETAKER - but the word had been mispelt and instead the word read CARTAKER...

"Coq au vin..." repeated Edie.

"Oh..." said the Cartaker, "I was hoping you said cock..."

Edie avoided getting into a discussion about chickens or... well... whatever it was the man was going on about and said instead, "Do you steal cars?"

The man looked down at his badge and frowned, "Damn those vikings..." he said, "They can't spell to save their lives..."

"Edie..." said Edie.

"Where..."

"No dear - I'm Edie..."

"Golly!" said the caretaker, "Not THE Edie - from the Ongoing Saga..."

"From what dear?"

"Edie who works with Mavis?" he persisted.

"Well yes - I work with a lady called Mavis - but it's meant to be top secret..."

"I know Fatima!" exclaimed the man.

"Really!?!" this was most bizarre - there was only one Fatima he could possibly mean she reckoned, "I'm sorry - do I know you?"

"Barry..." said the man, "Barry Mayes..."

"Means nothing to me dear..."

Barry the Caretaker looked a little disappointed, "I nearly got trampled by cows..." he added, "Infact I DID get trampled by cows... The next thing I knew I was floating in space and I got rescued by the Vikings... An everyday tale of everyday people..."

Edie wasn't so sure...

"Oh never mind..." he sighed, "Fame is fickle thing... Would you like me to show you around?"

"Oh - thank you dear... That would be nice..."

Barry bowed politely, "Very well then..." he beamed, "It's far from finished - but the tour begins over here..."

---

"I'm sure it's not supposed to be this overgrown?" exclaimed Mavis as they stepped off the Number 37 near Green Park Station.

Rwanda looked up from her map, "I wouldn't have thought so..."

The grass in Green Park was taller than some of the trees...

"This would be the Mutant grass seed then I suppose?" Rwanda humphed, "Nobody but ourselves seems at all bothered..."

"Too busy to notice..."

"It wouldn't surprise me - people can be very dense at times - especially tourists and the British Public..."

"I've noticed..."

Sure enough everyone was going about their daily routines and sight-seeing duties as if nothing had changed. Some attempted to sunbathe or picnic despite being overshadowed by towering grass blades the size of St Paul's - others wandered aimlessly through the grass jungle towards Buckingham Palace admiring the surrounding flora as they past - oblivious to any oddity...

"So where are we headed..."

"To find your friend Helena... She's nearby... But it's whether we can talk her round... There are a lot of external pressures at work..."

"There always are..." agreed Mavis - though she hadn't the foggiest what her new partner was talking about...

"Too right..." agreed Rwanda and with that the two of them crossed the grassy street and plunged into the jungle that had once been mild-mannered Green Park...

---

"I'm ringing about a man who was brought into your hospital today - a couple of hours ago..."

"Yeah right..." the Receptionist at the other end of the line was chewing gum which made it very difficult for Sam to make out what she was saying, "Well honey - we've had a hella lotta people in today - could you be more pacific..."

"Pacific? Oh... His name is Yen - Yenny Thyme..."

"Let me check..." Silence - a crackle and then, "Yeah honey - we still have him in here..."

"Is he still alive..."

"He's on critical honey - but listen - I can't tell you any more if you're not a relative..."

"I'm errr - his girlfriend..."

"I'm sorry honey - you can come over but I'm not sure you'll be able to see him today - his relative, his Cousin from Engerland is due later and that's the only person they're letting in..."

"His relative? But..."

"Mr Bowen..." said the Reception, "Mr Bowen is coming to see him later... Come over to the hospital - you can speak to him - I'm afraid that's all I can suggest..."

The line cut dead.

Yen's Cousin???

Samantha didn't like the sound of that at all...

---

"Where are we now, dear?"

Barry had begun flip-flopping his way around the Casino in an attempt to show Edie around - but they're progress was very slow at present. At the moment they appeared to be in a large storage locker - full of large crates...

"Where is this?" Edie repeated.

"This is a lot more exciting than you'd think..." grinned Barry, "This is where all the new animals and artifacts are kept... I'm supposed to be looking after them - but it's a lot of work for one man in large clown shoes to be dealing with..."

"There are animals in those crates?"

"Apparently..."

"Well you shouldn't keep them in there - they won't be mad about that, dear..."

"They're absolutely furious! But what can you do - we haven't got any cages - it's all so amateur..."

"What sort of animals are they?"

"These ones?"

"Yes, dear..."

"Some of these are space animals - you see when we open we're aiming to be quite a curio - all sorts of strange beasties..."

"From outer space, dear?"

"Oh yes..."

"Mightn't that be dangerous..."

"Probably..." agreed Barry, "...And admittedly I am a tad worried seeing as I'll be the one who's supposed to be opening the crates... But what can you do... These guys saved me..."

"I'm not sure a Circus of Space Aliens is a good idea at all - couldn't it just be clowns and jugglers..."

"Ten a penny apparently - Erik says we have to go for curio value..." Just then there came a large rattling sound from close by - one of the crates was shaking violently, "Oh dear..." sighed Barry, "Maybe I should feed them... I've only got half a jar of Marmite left - they don't seem to have taken that well to Peanut butter..." Edie looked alarmed - but Barry didn't seem to notice - crossing over to the crate, "This one's a bugger..." Barry continued, "It's a Bennihillasaurus... Nasty beast.... I was there when they caught it... Teeth like knives - six heads - bad breath... Reminds me of one of my ex's..."

The crate shook violently again - beginning to splinter before their eyes - although Barry didn't appear to have noticed...

"Err - I rather think it's trying to escape dear..." called Edie, backing off slightly.

The crate began to rattle - sharp swipey claws were poking their way out at them...

"Oh golly..." barked Barry looking as if he'd just had an accident, "They never got as cross as this before..."

"WE SHOULD RUN, DEAR!" cried Edie - but it was too late to get far and Barry just stood staring mouth wide open as if mimicking a railway tunnel...

"RUN, DEAR - QUICKLY!"

But it was too late...

The crate exploded in a angry wail of splinters and spines - and there it was - the furious beast - face to face with them amongst the maze of crates...

The Bennihillasaurus growled hungrily and them from under a pile of woodwork - raising its claws to strike...

"Oh Mavis..." sighed Edie - but this time Mavis was thousands of miles away - Barry lay in a faint on the floor...

Edie would have to deal with this matter herself!!!

What will happen next...

Will Edie manage to fight off the Bennihillasaurus? Will Samantha reach the hospital before Bowen? Will Mavis and Rwanda reach Helena in time to convince her to quit the invasion? How will Trent react having been confronted by a talking cow? Will Lavinia's mind-block break down? Can Paul recover in time to help save the Saga...

Find out soon...

PART SEVEN WILL FOLLOW BY THURSDAY 10TH OCTOBER 2002 - THE BREAK ALLOWS EVERYONE TO GET THEIR PENS OUT AND SEND SOMETHING IN - BE IT A STORY LINE - A SMALL SEGMENT - E-MAIL - IDEA - COMMENTS ETC.

WE WILL TRY AND USE EVERYTHING WE RECEIVE...

Please Contribute to Part 7 - or at least write to us at : PCBEECHES@HOTMAIL.COM to tell us you're still reading as the Saga team put in a lot of effort and free time to bring you this and there's no point us continuing if we don't have any readers...

Remember - if you would prefer to print out an episode to read later - each instalment is about 10-12 pages approx...

Go on - do it why don't ya! IT'S GOOD STUFF!!!! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO...

DON'T LET THE ONGOING SAGA BECOME THE LL BOWEN SAGA!!!!

THE FUTURE OF THE SAGA DEPENDS ON YOU ALL...

Tuesday, September 17, 2002

AN ONGOING SAGA

SERIES 2 - STORY 1...

PART FIVE : THE NAME OF THE GAME… By Paul Chandler. With Guest Star Contributions by L.L. Bowen.

Last Episode : In which escape seems unlikely - Bowen shows his strengths - Edie goes on holiday and Mavis gets mail...

This Episode : In which Mavis makes a SQUEAK, Trent rebels, Carol becomes Samantha again and visions of the future finally become a reality...

"I'll be over to explain it later..." Reg had said, "We'll take Sally away for testing - just to make sure she isn't a hazard..."

A hazard...

"Err Sally - they're just going to take you for a wash and brush up - we'll meet up later..."

Sally hadn't looked herself, had looked very pale since their journey, "Okay..." she'd said, "I think I know what to expect..."

Those words haunted him now...

"I think I know what to expect..."

What had she meant?

CHECK OUT THE NEW EPISODE POSTED TUESDAY 17TH SEPTEMBER 2002...

PART SIX WILL FOLLOW ON FRIDAY 20TH - THE SAGA WILL THEN TAKE A BREAK UNTIL OCTOBER TO ALLOW FOR FURTHER CONTRIBUTIONS!

SERIES 2, STORY 1 WILL RUN FOR TEN EPISODES UNTIL MID OCTOBER 2002...

SERIES 2, STORY 2 WILL RUN FROM EARLY NOVEMBER UNTIL XMAS 2002...

IF WE DON’T GET THE AXE THEN SERIES 3 WILL BEGIN IN THE NEW YEAR!!

IT'S ALL UP TO YOU FOLKS!

PLEASE SEND IN YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS!!!

STAY TUNED...

PAUL!

AN ONGOING SAGA - SERIES 2 - STORY 1…

PART FIVE : THE NAME OF THE GAME… By Paul Chandler. With Guest Star Contributions by L.L. Bowen.

Last Episode : In which escape seems unlikely - Bowen shows his strengths - Edie goes on holiday and Mavis gets mail...

This Episode : In which Mavis makes a SQUEAK, Trent rebels, Carol becomes Samantha again and visions of the future finally become a reality...

RECAP :

Picking up the pile of papers she carried them through to the kitchen... Her mind focusing on the more exciting of the items that had arrived. The parcel looked well bound and was covered in string and sellotape. Mavis took a sharp kitchen knife out of the drawer and began to cut to ties...

Her head felt light - she could hear somebody speaking - a voice reading her message...

"Dear Mavis and Edie... I am sending you this gift because I suspect it might be of some use to you... I was going to send it to you via Matron Ward-Sisters but I don't think she's in any shape to manage that now... Still - she'll make a wonderfully macabre hat stand... Have fun with the hammer. Lots of love. L.L. Bowen."

She didn't stop for a moment to consider where the voice might come from... Even when the voice changed in tone and the words became a warning...

"DO NOT OPEN THE PARCEL! DO NOT OPEN THE PARCEL! DANGER - DANGER - DANGER..."

Mavis did not react - she found that she was powerless to - instead she simply pulled away the last of the string and reached inside...

Have fun Have fun Have fun Have fun Have fun Have fun Have fun Have fun Have fun Have fun Have fun!

PROLOGUE :

How lovely - thought Paul as he rushed to the Ongoing Saga office - London looked greener than usual. He put it down to his being in a good mood. There were several new ideas in his head for the Saga.

A long queue of people were standing outside Boots. It stretched forty metres from the door, and along the street. What on earth they were queuing for? Was there some kind of special offer on? The people were babbling excitedly, but Paul had no time to stop and eavesdrop, as he was already 3 minutes late.

Bounding into the lift, Paul took out his notebook. Yes, there was a lot to put into today’s Saga installment before it could go live. Quite a few exciting developments to share with his co-editor Fatima.

He got out at the 17th floor, and through the Saga office door window, he could see Fatima typing already at the computer. That’s the good thing about her - dedicated, and thorough. Before he even took hold of the door handle, Paul noticed an envelope pinned to the door, addressed to him. He took it and opened it. Beyond the glass window, Fatima continued typing quickly.

A single sheet of white paper. “Paul -“ it said, “Do NOT interfere.”

Fatima turned round, and looked at him. There was no expression on her face. Paul tried the door, but it was firmly locked. Fatima’s hair seemed different today - long, lustrous and shining. She flicked it back, and continued at the computer. Paul tapped at the window hopefully. Only now had he began to notice other changes to the office - sinister changes which stabbed coldly into his heart. Not only had the room been re-decorated completely with purple cushions, and a spangly new sofa, but he could now see the words, which glowed on the computer screen, as they appeared as soon as Fatima’s fingers could create them.

Paul stared in horror and disbelief at the sudden realisation that his world was slowly being turned upside down...

---

Have fun Have fun Have fun Have fun Have fun Have fun Have fun Have fun Have fun Have fun Have fun!

Mavis held the hammer in her hand - it was lighter than she imagined...

Suddenly the room was very quiet.

Mavis stared at the hammer - she was feeling very strange now... Her head was ringing and she felt badly nauseous...

"Why..." she heard herself mutter - and knew instinctively that she shouldn't have been so hasty - shouldn't have ripped open the parcel - should have resisted the pull...

What now...

The last person to have touched MAXWELL'S SILVER HAMMER - the last ordinary person - had died...

She knew then that the person was Nurze Ward-Sisters...

She could see it in her mind...

"Take this hammer to somebody with some intelligence... Go - before I decide to kill you my dear..." said Bowen coldly.

Nurze reached out for the hammer - touching it with her bare hands - her bare skeletal hands...

"OH!" exclaimed Bowen suddenly, "Don't snatch... I don't like people who snatch... You've made me change my mind... I was going to spare you but on second thoughts - there are too many players in this particular story as there is..."

Nurze stared at her - but soon her eyes did not see - soon she ceased to function altogether - without even a chance to scream... "I should never have wasted your precious time..." sighed Bowen, "I'll post it on like a normal person would... Except - except I'm not normal am I Matron dear?" Matron's skeleton stared back at her, "You should eat more dear..." he grinned.

The vision horrified her - and yet - and yet she remained unmoved - unshocked... It was as if she felt the two emotions at once - horror and total calm... Mavis could hear the clock ticking now... These must be the last seconds of her life she reckoned - waiting to see whether her skin would dissolve before her very eyes... Waiting to become a skeleton...

But nothing happened...

"Maybe I'm not normal afterall..." she thought to herself... "Maybe I can harnass the power..."

Just to see what happened she tried the hammer on the kitchen table...

SQUEEEEEEEEEAK!

An odd sound for a hammer to make.

Mavis held the hammer tightly in her hand - it was lighter than she imagined - lighter and more colourful and made of plastic...

"Why..."

She tried again...

SQUEEEEEEAAAKKK!

Looking closely now she realised that it didn't look like a normal hammer - but a child's hammer - a toy hammer that a baby might have in cot perhaps...

"Why..."

"Why did Bowen send you the hammer?"

Mavis turned, there was a stranger there in the kitchen with her - a woman who she'd never seen before...

"Who..."

"Who am I?"

The woman reached out to her - taking her hand and allowing the toy hammer to fall to the floor - suddenly the knowledge flooded in...

"Rwanda Bronze..." said Mavis.

"Pleased to meet you... Sorry to startle you and all that... Let me put the kettle on whilst you take it all in..."

Oddly, Mavis felt much more like herself again - her old self - the self before she became disillusioned - but on the other hand she also felt different - in a positive way... Meeting this strange lady had quite literally given her a new look on life...

Bowen - the hammer - the parcel...

"Of course that wasn't the real hammer..." explained Rwanda as she took out the mugs and located the teabags, "Thankfully Phyllis Jet got to me in time and warned me... I was able to swap the contents in a split second before you opened the parcel..."

No need to ask how or why - this strange visitors powers seemed beyond question - seemed quite everyday...

The telepathy, too, seemed quite normal - it was amazing how things could be changed so dramatically by just a single touch...

"What happened to the original hammer?"

"Safe storage - til later - could come in handy..."

"If I had touched it..."

"You'd be dead, yes..."

"Like the Matron..."

"Her? Oh yes - 'fraid so... Still - too late to do anything about that I'm afraid... Here's your tea..."

"Thank you..." Mavis said - aloud this time - she stared at the parcel and the toy hammer and thought about an alternate course of time where she'd touched the hammer and ceased to exist.

"Don't think about it..."

"Perhaps I shouldn't..." agreed Mavis, "What happens now..."

"Assistance!" grinned Rwanda and this time she was speaking aloud, "I've shared my knowledge with you - because I need your help - are you up to it Mavis?"

Mavis nodded, "Oh yes - I think so... I wasn't earlier - but I am now - you've made quite a difference..."

"You're protected now... It'll make it easier for you... Things are going to be quite different from now on... But I'm sure you'll be able to manage..."

"I'll manage..." replied Mavis - reverting to her newly and casually acquired skill of telepathy, "I think this is just the sort of change I've been looking for..."

---

They were somewhere else now...

No longer trapped in the Viking age...

There were benefits he'd forgotten about - the food was better - he could have a nice warm, foam-filled bath - which was good!

But to Trent it was no consolation - he was off the case!!!

"I'll be over to explain it later..." Reg had said, "We'll take Sally away for testing - just to make sure she isn't a hazard..."

A hazard...

"Err Sally - they're just going to take you for a wash and brush up - we'll meet up later..."

Sally hadn't looked herself, had looked very pale since their journey, "Okay..." she'd said, "I think I know what to expect..."

Those words haunted him now...

"I think I know what to expect..."

What had she meant?

She was the first thing he asked about when Reg had showed up at his door - the door of his ultrafuristic, ultramodern, way-way Sci-fi apartment, "Where is she Reggie? What have you done with her?"

Reggie Copper had looked a tad embarrassed, "She was unstable..." he said.

"A hazard?" snapped Trent, quoting back to him.

"Of sorts... She was a Cyborg you know - or part of one - a very basic one of course compared to our technologies..."

Trent didn't want reminding of what Sally was or wasn't supposed to be... He didn't think of her as a Cyborg - he'd never even allowed it to cross his mind before Reggie had arrived... She was just - Sally... A head... (Yes - he knew it didn't make any sense - no ordinary woman could have gone on living with her head separated from her body - at least not without a good deal of medical assistance - but... but... Well - he'd never really dwelt on it - afterall nothing made sense any more! This was no difference...)

"I didn't ask WHAT Sally was - I was asking HOW she was..."

Reggie looked vaguely disgruntled, "No need to snap... This is just because they took you off the case..."

"Is not..."

"IS SO!"

"I'm not off the case..."

"You SO are, Trent Diamond..."

"Not for long..."

"Tell that to Bronze and Silver then... There are plenty of other things to be dealing with which need your assistance..."

"Like what?"

"Well - there was this cat up a tree in Swindon the other day and..."

"Very funny... Listen - we all know I'm the expert on Yen... I've been trailing him for months now..."

"Yes - well this isn't just about Yen anymore... Which is why you're off the case..."

"What is it about then?"

"Cows... Bowen... Hammers..."

"I'm sure I know about all of them - I certainly know about Bowen - I met him... He and Yen are..."

"...Don't go on so... You're off!"

Trent paused, frowning, "Well doesn't that sound odd to you? I think it's a conspiracy..."

"Probably..." sighed Reggie, "Just don't bore me with it... Fancy a pint?"

"No..." Trent stuck out his bottom lip sulkily, "Not until Sally comes back..."

"Comes back?"

"Comes back here..."

"What makes you think she's coming back?"

"But..."

"I told you - they had problems with her - she's being recycled..."

"WHAT!?! I've got to see her..."

Trent tried to push passed him but Reggie was blocking the way...

"No point..." he said, "She'll be a pile of scrap by now..."

---

"So how can I help?"

"Well Mavis - it'll become clear - but it's familiar territory..."

"The man Yen from Green Meadows..."

"Only partly! Remember the hammer? Bowen?" Mavis nodded, “…And your friend Helena?"

"HELENA?"

"The Cow Parade..."

"That's connected!?!"

"Definitely... She's their leader now - although Bowen may think he is... We have to stop they're invasion attempt - we have to stop Helena... They're plans threaten to change the face of this planet..." Rwanda held out a photo, "The grass has been getting very long lately... Hyde Park, Green Park, St James, Regent's Park..."

Mavis flicked through the photos - before and after shots of local London Parks - Rwanda was right... Hyde Park was becoming a total jungle...

"How did it get to this stage so quickly..."

"Mutant grass seed..." Rwanda paused, "What I forgot to mention is the time difference between the pictures - it was only a matter of hours in most cases... A little drizzle of rain and the seeds have been sprouting... But it's spreading - beyond the Parks..."

"The cow statue..."

"That was the trigger - there are others... London will become one vast field before long if we don't intervene..."

"How can we intervene?" Mavis was finding the telepathy increasingly easy - almost pleasant and relaxing, "How do we stop this happening?"

"We must find your friend - Helena... She's a cow..."

"That's a bit personal isn't it..."

But Rwanda didn't smile, "No - I mean it quite literally... We must get to Helena before Bowen does..."

"Then let's go..."

It made sense - the urgency appealed to her - there was no reason to delay...

Mavis was back in business - but with a new partner...

Meanwhile - elsewhere - her old partner was having her own adventures!!!

---

Samantha sat in a Vegas airport bar and hoped that sometime soon she’d catch up with her racing mind – at the moment it was all a bit much to take in…

CAROL – SIMON – THE EVENTS IN NEW YORK… HER WHOLE LIFE OVER THE PAST WEEK OR SO WAS FAKE – A LIFE CREATED BY YEN – WITH YEN PASSING HIMSELF OFF AS SIMON SO THAT HE COULD BE WITH HER… HE’D PROMISED TO RETURN HER HOME SAFELY TO HER REAL LIFE… HE’D BEEN LYING…

Reading the letter had done it – but goodness knew why it had caused that reaction…

There was one good thing and one good thing only so far… With the mask of her life as Carol now shed aside at least she recognized herself again – knew where she stood as far as her own existence was concerned! (Or at least presumed she did…) NO – SHE DID! (she assured herself!) She also seemed to recognize Simon as Yen – his features changed again – not hidden by a bag… The letter had even broken through Yen’s new appearance…

Samantha drained her coffee cup and ordered another – she had panicked and fled the hotel – headed straight for the airport on the outskirts of the city – but as yet she had no further plans… She had to get out of Vegas – that was obvious – but she wasn’t sure who to run to – where to go… Back to the U.K. – but where then – Yen would try and find her… She wracked her brains for who else she could turn to back home – she couldn’t find the names or faces… Her mother – her friends… That was where things got confusing… Yen had told her that known of the names she knew were real acquaintances of hers – was that a lie too…

RAY – GAIL – STUART – MARKUS – PATRICIA RUTH (HER MOTHER…)

She felt a sudden stab of regret – if Patricia was her mother – hadn’t somebody told her she was now dead??? What of those other names…

“Excuse me dear – you’re spilling your coffee…”

Samantha looked up suddenly, she was too and so righted her fresh cup of latte and mopped herself up, “How stupid… Thank you…”

She looked up to see who had spoken – the accent was British – the speaker was an elderly lady loaded with luggage, “Never mind dear…” said the lady, “It’ll wash out… Are you from back home – I’ve just arrived…”

“I am from back home – but I was just heading back there…” said Sam absentmindedly dabbing at herself – the woman was staring at her, “Is something else wrong…”

“No dear…” said the lady, “I just thought I recognized you that’s all – my name’s Edie…”

DID SHE KNOW AN EDIE??? SHE DIDN’T REMEMBER ONE…

“My name’s Samantha…” said Samantha, “Samantha Ruth…”

It was as if she’d slapped the woman in the face – she literally jumped back a pace, “GOOD GOLLY!” she exclaimed, “I DO KNOW YOU – MAVIS WILL NEVER BELIEVE IT!”

---

He hadn't meant to hit Reg Copper as hard as he did...

"I'VE GOT TO SEE HER..."

"No point... She'll be a pile of scrap by now..."

That had made him cross - VERY cross...

Trent had punched him - full in the jaw and sent him staggering back with a crack of the skull to the doorway and he'd fallen...

When Trent had left him he was still in existence - he hadn't faded away into nothing - he was just lying quietly that's all - bound up on Trent's bed...

Reg Copper was a strong man - a "being" of great power - a casual slug to the jaw by anyone other than Trent would have had no effect at all... But a punch from another being of such power - well - that was like one tough guy hitting another tough guy...

Reg Copper was down and out for the count...

Trent hadn't meant to be so rough - he hadn't planned it - but it was done now...

Oh, Sally...

"I think I know what to expect..."

She'd realised her fate even before he had!

With Reg quiet and unmoving on the bed Trent had been quick thinking and had pressed his palms to Copper's - taking an imprint - just incase he could no longer get access to certain areas - just incase there was a conspiracy...

He wouldn't put anything past them now...

---

She had to be somewhere here, reasoned Yen – she couldn’t possibly have gotten away already – not yet – not at this time of the early morning… She couldn’t possibly have arranged a flight and fled the country already…

Yen paced the airport terminal – perhaps she’d already gone through customs – he’d never find her if that was the case…

Yen stood by a bay of telephones and tried to concentrate – tried to picture her…

“Carol…” he whispered, “Carol…”

Nothing.

“Samantha… SAMANTHA…”

Suddenly he could see her – nearby – drinking coffee and talking with somebody…

Yen opened his eyes – she was up on the floor above and she hadn’t even got as far as buying herself a ticket…

“There’s time yet…” he said to himself, “Time to get my Carol back…”

---

“I don’t understand how you know me and yet I don’t know you…” sighed Samantha.

“We were investigating your case… Or to be more specific – we were investigating the disappearance of your mother – and the involvement of your friends…”

“I really don’t understand…” Sam found herself saying – how could this old woman be involved with the Police – she looked about 101… (Which was about right, actually…)

“Nor do we understand…” explained Edie, “We lost track of your mother – but we traced one of her neighbours to Green Meadows clinic where we met a man called Bowen and learnt of another man called…”

“YEN…”

“That’s right dear!”

But Samantha wasn’t listening any more, “HE’S HERE…” she gasped, “HE’S FOUND ME ALREADY – I SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN SO STUPID…” Edie looked – expecting to see a man with a bag on his head – but she could see nobody of that description – although a gentleman did appear to be hurrying up the escalators and heading towards the café… “FIRE ESCAPE…” Samantha called out to the waiter, “I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE QUICKLY…” The waiter looked confused but pointed to a side door – Samantha noticed that Edie was already there and holding the exit open wide…

“What are you doing…” hissed Sam.

“Helping you get away…” Edie hissed back.

“You can’t come with me…”

“I don’t intend to dear – but I can cause a diversion – NOW HURRY…”

Samantha looked surprised but didn’t argue and hurried away down the fire escape. Edie turned away and pulled the door tightly shut – the man who Sam appeared to be escaping from – the man who usually wore the bag was striding towards the café.

Edie knew what was to be done as he pushed towards her, buffeting past her without recognition, “THIEF!!” cried Edie, “THIEF – THAT MAN JUST STOLE MY PURSE!!!”

---

Trent stared down at the conveyor belt…

All that was left of Sally he held in the palm of his hand…

One eyebrow – an eyeball and the remains of her voice unit which kept gurgling away gently to itself but seemed unable to form proper words or sentences…

"I think I know what to expect..."

“I’m taking you with me Sally…” he muttered to himself.

He’d come so well prepared – managed to make his way to the recycling chamber and pick up provisions for his journey on the way using Reg Copper’s palm print.

Now it was for nothing…

All he had left was the case… Samantha…

“Don’t worry Sally… You’ll be safe with me…” he cooed and gently cradled the eyeball – transferring it gently into his pocket…

“YOU’LL NEVER LEAVE – NEVER LEAVE – OFF THE CASE – NEVER LEAVE – NEVER LEAVE TRENT DIAMOND – NEVER LEAVE – LEAVE – LEAVE – LEAVE…”

There were voices in his mind – Reg Copper – Phyllis Jet – Arnold Da Silver and some of the others – but he couldn’t make out what they were saying – all he knew was that they didn’t want him to leave…

“Tough…” muttered Trent and closed his eyes, “Don’t worry Sally…” he muttered into the pocket where what was left of his companion lay quietly, “This might be a tad bumpy – but I’ll get you out of here…” Concentrating very, very hard to blot out the voices Trent projected his mind through time and space – he was rejuvenated – he could do it now – he had the strength… It wasn’t too difficult – and sure enough Trent soon felt his feet leave the ground – he felt the world spinning away from him…

Trent was on his way – back on course – back on the case…

---

“THIEF-THIEF – THAT MAN JUST STOLE MY PURSE!!!”

Edie’s cries had created a definite diversion – Sam could hear shouting from above as she bolted off down the fire escape. But in the long run it didn’t give her much of a head start…

She made her first and biggest mistake early on…

Once out of the fire escape – rather than hurry around the side of the building and back into to the main entrance of the airport – losing herself amongst people – she just kept running out into open desert… Through a hole in the fence and away – but she soon realized that this wasn’t a good move – there was nowhere for her to hide except for a small outcrop of rocks which she was certain she would never reach in time to conceal herself…

“SAMANTHA!” Yen was out of the fire escape and after her already… “SAMANTHA – COME BACK – I CAN EXPLAIN!!”

Sam didn’t let herself give up – she persevered – the outcrop might, as yet, be some way off – but once she reached it she would gain cover and could then outmanoeuvre him… She was faster – probably fitter than him too – she would tire him out… She kept on running…

“SAMANTHA PLEASE… I REALISE THIS HAS BEEN QUITE A SHOCK – BUT THIS IS WHAT WE AGREED – A TRIAL LIFE – THAT’S WHY I’M HERE – IT HASN’T WORKED… WE WERE JUST TRYING IT OUT TO SEE WHO YOU REALLY WERE…”

LIAR. (Thought Sam.) LIAR!!!

She wondered what he’d try and pull off next – what lies he’d claim… But then suddenly he stopped running… Samantha slowed too… Yen was looking up at the sky… He looked scared – there was a black cloud hovering over him – he was dimmed by shadow…

“OH MY GOD!!!” he screamed.

It wasn’t a black cloud… The shadows got bigger… Samantha looked up…

It was a building – a pub – and it was falling down from the sky onto Yen…

DOWN – DOWN – DOWN…

Yen tried to run – but he couldn’t get away quickly – Samantha tried to call out to him – but couldn’t think what to say – it was all happening so quickly…

The pub landed on him – squashed him fully with a scream and what may well have been a squelch… Samantha just stood and stared – no matter what she felt for him she had never imagined Yen being squashed by a falling pub in the prime of his life…

Sam could hear sirens – Police cars streaming across from the airport – she could hear the old lady still calling out, “STOP THIEF – STOP…”

But it was too late – Yen could do no more damage…

It was then she remembered the image she’d seen on the karaoke screen when she’d been Carol – the image of the time traveling pub… It had all come to pass… A vision of the future – now the reality of the present…

EPILOGUE :

Paul continued to stare into the room... Locked out of his own office... This meant trouble... He had set PART 5 to be posted by this very morning (Wednesday 18th September...) - but had planned to work on his original draft of events for PART 6 today in time for posting on Friday... But now Fatima was working at the keyboard... If he couldn't stop her from tampering with what had happened then he could never be sure at what would be going up on the site... Future's could be changed or influenced... It was too dreadful even to contemplate...

She was posting something now... A separate post from the one he'd authorised for today... he could make the words out clearly - it was as if she'd made them larger on the screen just to tease him...

Welcome to Ongoing LL Bowen!

In today’s installment, we go straight to the West-End Kitchen, where our hero and mentor LL Bowen himself has kindly granted a brief, but illuminating interview. Our reporter Andrew Horner sends us the details.

Horner: LL Bowen! How are you?

Bowen: Well, hello there! May I first say what an honour it is for you to meet me, and how dapper I look today?

Horner: A lot of people are wondering, how exactly, do you keep your hair so soft and silky?

Bowen: Mm. Good question. I always use “Shampoo a la Bowen” a secret blend of herbs and minerals, for all hair types, which helps keep my gorgeous hair smooth and manageable.

Horner: Really? And where can I buy this wonder product? From Boots?

Bowen: For example, yes.

Horner: LL Bowen, sir, what makes you tick? A lot of readers are very curious.

Bowen: Understandably. Of course, a lot of information is readily available in my new autobiography, “Enough About Me - (only joking!)” which I strongly advise people to buy and read, it’s beautifully written. But there is an important message I would like to get across in this interview. I have been an influential writer for many years now, but my talent has created some jealousy. There is one individual, Paul Chandler, who has decided not only to try and censor my work, but has actively set out to destroy my image. He has depicted me recently as some kind of cheap two-dimensional villain with a penchant for silly costumes and crazy delusions.

Horner: That’s horrible! What about your charity work, and…

Bowen: Please, I don’t like to mention my charity work.

Horner: I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to advertise your sterling tireless work for charity.

Bowen: That’s all right. Just don’t mention my charity work again.

Horner: But what about your visions for a better world? Where everyone will live in peace and harmony, with lovely shiny hair? What about your plans to change London into a green paradise where your 2000 metre statue will provide a beacon of hope and joy for millions?

Bowen: Well, this Paul character seems to think it’s not such a good idea!

Horner: We must dispose of him immediately!

Bowen: I’m afraid so. Yet…there is more.

Horner: What is it sir?

Bowen: I want to find a girl called Sam. You’re out there aren’t you Sam? I do all this for you. Events recently have conspired to keep us apart. We haven’t been able to reach each other. I have been locked up, attempts have been made on my life, and you, you have been carried away, your mind clouded. Come home to me Sam. We can create a world together. All our ideas and dreams can become real. Listen to the truth.

Horner: Well, readers, we’ll finish there. Not only is the manager asking us to leave, since we haven’t actually bought any food, but LL Bowen seems overcome with emotion. Join us again some day for more insights into the fascinating thoughts of the Great LL Bowen! I’m off to buy some of that wonderful shampoo!

Coming Up on Ongoing LL Bowen -

How to create the perfect bathroom for under £35.

“Enough about Me” - reviewed.

LL Bowen - The Early Years.

Paul closed his eyes... "Fatima..." he called out to her through the glass, "Fatima what have you done... This doesn't change anything... You're only confusing things... Do you hear me Fatima..."

But Fatima sat and stared at the screen - there was more Bowen news on the way...

She was muttering to herself - muttering his instructions - his mantra...

"Soon people will be more interested in Bowen than in the events of the Saga - soon none of that will matter - the lies... Nobody will care a jot about what else happens - who else might be involved or what mind-numbing adventures they are having... Soon only one man will matter - and that man is L.L. Bowen - soon - very soon..."

"Not if I can help it..." thought Paul to himself.

"But you can't help it, Paul..." said a voice in his ear.

Everything went dark.

What will happen next...

Will Paul survive to live another day and to keep the Saga running? Even with Fatima rapidly losing control and following Bowen’s plans for the future…

Will Mavis and Rwanda be able to contact Helena and persuade her to reverse plans to turn London to grass and allow Bowen to be London’s new ruler??

Is Yen dead or destroyed? How will this effect his other personalities? Will Trent seek his revenge or merely make more trouble for everyone?

What will have become of the crew of the time travelling pub? Will Edie be able to explain things to Samantha before it all gets way too bizarre…

Please Contribute to Part 6 - or at least write to us at : PCBEECHES@HOTMAIL.COM to tell us you're still reading...

COMING SOON :

PART SIX WILL FOLLOW BY FRIDAY 20TH SEPTEMBER...

THE SAGA WILL THEN BREAK UNTIL THE SECOND WEEK OF OCTOBER TO ALLOW FOR FURTHER CONTRIBUTIONS TO BE RECEIVED.

PLEASE SEND IN YOUR COMMENTS, IDEAS, E-MAILS, FULLY WRITTEN SEGMENTS FOR EPISODES (YOU DON’T HAVE TO WRITE A FULL EPISODE!) WE WILL TRY AND USE EVERYTHING WE RECEIVE…

DON’T LET THE ONGOING SAGA BECOME THE LL BOWEN SAGA!!!!

THE FUTURE OF THE SAGA DEPENDS ON YOU ALL…

AN ONGOING SAGA II

Tuesday, December 10, 2002

Wednesday, October 30, 2002

Friday, October 18, 2002

Friday, September 20, 2002

Tuesday, September 17, 2002

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